The Land of Knitting

Numenius has been reading to me from the Yarn Harlot’s latest book, Stephanie Pearl-McPhee Casts Off: The Yarn Harlot’s Guide to the Land of Knitting, while I knit my sweater. The Yarn Harlot is a brilliant writer and you don’t have to be remotely interested in knitting to enjoy her prose, as Numenius will tell you between guffaws. She’s written quite a few other books, one of which is Things I Learned From Knitting (Whether I Wanted to Or Not).

I haven’t read it yet, but here are some things I’m learning about knitting as I go:

a) Don’t knit anything beyond garter stitch when drinking. Even just one glass. And maybe not even garter stitch if you have to do increases, decreases, or any kind of counting. This is really important.
b) If it’s a boring stitch or a monochrome yarn, have it be a small project if you’d like to finish it. If it’s a combination of the two, “small project” amounts to a sock for a Barbie doll. (Then watch Barbie not wear it; but why should she? You have fallen prey to Second Sock Syndrome, and there is no second sock in sight.)
c) Large projects should only be undertaken if they are staggeringly appealing to you, are knit on large yarn and/or large needles, and contain enough of interest to keep you going but are simple enough not to have you get bogged down in complexity.
d) The quality of the needles you use makes a huge difference in the ease of knitting. I’m going to guess the quality of yarn (and its price) make a big difference too. These factors are likely to determine whether or not you buy a condo in the Land of Knitting. They will also determine whether your bank account is going to get depleted in a hurry.
e) Attempting to knit lace is like embarking on reading Ulysses. It’s not about where you’re going, it’s about the journey. (In my case, a journey in the dark while riding a malevolent arab mare, spiteful rolling eyes and gorgeous. Landing in the ditch is the most likely outcome.)