Academy Awards We'd Like To See

Somehow I found myself this evening at yet another annual Oscar party, the occasion of which coincided with a friend’s 65th birthday party. I did well this year: the only two movies that I saw which were nominated for anything both won: Slumdog Millionaire and WALL-E. Usually I spend the entire evening spending wondering who all those folks up on the stage are, most of whom I wouldn’t recognize if I were trapped in an abandoned elevator with them.

We clearly need a list of alternative Academy Awards, perhaps to honor the less glorious but hardly inessential roles in film production. Let’s see:

• there’s the obvious Best Best Boy
• and Best Gaffe by A Gaffer
• Can’t forget those who back up the renderfarms: Best Systems Administrator
• For those who stay for all the credits: Best Titling
• and Most Amusing Clip Shown After Nearly All The Credits Are Finished
• And what about Best Lettering Outside Of A Titling Role (The Tale Of Despereaux is a good candidate here)
• And everyone in the film crew should be interested in Best Catering On Film Site (or maybe not — maybe filmmakers don’t eat like bicycle racers).