13 November 08
Elation and Grief
It’s been over a week, now.
The edge has been taken off the elation, the sobering future facing a new administration (and all of us). This isn’t going to be easy. We’re settling into a hard, hard time. But at least there is hope.
No edge at all has been taken off the grief over the hateful passing of Prop. 8. Not the news that Mormons are resigning from their church in protest and in some numbers; not the news, today, that a legal challenge has been mounted in the courts. The grief comes from the awareness that intolerance, bigotry, and hatred are rife in our society. The culture wars in full sway. I knew this. We knew this. But it is still a cause of grief and pain.
When Numenius and I got married in 2003 I wondered whether we should. Why, when others who loved each other couldn’t, legally? When Gavin Newsom started marrying gay and lesbian couples in City Hall in San Francisco in defiance of California law, back in February 2004, I was so thrilled. Friends of mine got married then. They had to turn in their marriage licenses afterward, and our local County Clerk made a huge heroic stink about this in the news, receiving hate mail and getting expelled from her church in the process.
Now this.
How does their marriage threaten mine, pray tell? How exactly do my sisters-in-law with their three beautiful children mar marriage? And, once again, since all kinds of people need to be reminded: your beliefs are tolerated in this society, but we have a constitutional separation of church and state. We really do. If you’re gay and Mormon and believe you shouldn’t get married, go for it. I’m fine with that. I respect it. If it makes sense to your personal integrity, I support it.
But what’s at stake here isn’t just gay marriage: it’s the very concept of pluralism. We liberals labor under the delusion that everyone here, sooner or later, embraces pluralism. We’re wrong. There are lots of voters — 46%, pretty much — who would just as soon scratch it out of the books, and they are getting ready to go after all kinds of other things.
I’m not sure you can resign from the Catholic Church, but if you can, here’s mine. Might as well make it official. I cannot be even residually affiliated with an organization so hypocritical and hateful. I know and love some wonderful Catholics. But I can no longer be one of you. I’m sorry. I have said my last Hail Mary, I have for the last time blessed myself with holy water, I have bowed for the last time before the elevated host. I can’t pretend this doesn’t hurt a little, but it has been coming for a while and this is it. No more. No more authoritarian aging white bishops, no more sinister pronouncements of hatred in the name of “love.” Basta.
There are rallies all over the country on Saturday. I will not be able to attend one on that day — I’m helping organize the Yolo/Sacramento Green Summit in Woodland — but I will be there in spirit and I offer this post in tears to my gay and lesbian brothers and sisters on whom a violence has been spat. We must no longer be silent. I acknowledge my white privilege; now I own and rail against my straight privilege. I ask you to join me…
This is written in response to Jarrett’s post over at Creature of the Shade.
Brava!
Here, here! I agree with all sentiments 100%, even if I cannot put it as eloquently as you. Finding out that prop 8 passed really shocked me – I thought that we (the human race) were making so much more progress than this. Then something like this comes along and reminds my why I have such strong misanthropic tendencies. The fact that religion is playing such a large part in the lives of those who might not follow it’s beliefs, absolutely disgusts me.
I left the Roman Catholic Church myself years ago (when I was younger and it was probably much easier to do mentally) over the contradictory and hypocritical dogmas that are force-fed down the throats of those that follow blindly and never think for themselves. I just do not see how anybody that follows the Christian god’s laws and teachings, and spends a few moments truly thinking about it, can find any reason to stand up and deny the rights of another person to live their lives the way the wish, as long as it has no direct affect on themselves.
I can respect anybody’s personal beliefs, as long as they respect mine in-kind, and do not try to force their will on others.
Bless you, dear, dear friend. Karen and I attended the rally in Sac today. We felt your good energy as well as the energy of the hundreds we marched with. This fight is definitely not over.
I hear you. I have known plenty of good religious people, but I have sworn off religion for many years now, because, unfortunately, nearly all of the religions officially promote some sort of prejudice or another. Prejudice always leads to hatred and unspeakable crimes. I can’t be a part of that.