Democrats Want My Opinion? Not Really.

A survey arrived in the mail yesterday from the Department of Processing and Tabulation, Democratic Party Headquarters. It’s the stuff of nightmares: the way the questions are framed makes me wonder whether they aren’t just dying to hand the whole baby along with the bathwater back to the Republicans in 2008.

Consider, for example:

Which of the following would strengthen our nation’s economy?
_ More big tax breaks for wealthiest Americans (clearly, we’re not supposed to check THAT one)
_ Targeted middle-class tax relief (tipping our hand a bit, here, aren’t we?)
_ Both (not likely to be answered by anyone except by mistake but hey, that’s statistically as significant as “neither,” below)
_ Neither (hmmm… almost rhymes with “spoiler”)

If you check “neither,” there’s no way to say what you think might be appropriate in terms of “strengthening” the economy (always an assumed “good” thing, like “growth”). Like maybe weaning ourselves off this disastrous institutional perceived link between “consumer confidence” (read rampant spending on shit we don’t need based on lies and paper, debt and borrowing, all of it unhealthy and unsustainable) and “economic strength.” Like maybe taxing gasoline at appropriate levels to modify behavior because we’re going to need to modify it at some point, control of Iraqi oilfields or no, Arctic drilling or no, whether the democrats or the republicans or the half the country that votes or the other half that doesn’t like it or not, and they won’t like it, so they certainly won’t be “encouraged” to (one of the survey questions) by mere political cant.

If I had to make a decision today, I was asked, which of the following would I like to see running in the general election? Looking the names before me on the paper, Biden Clinton Dodd Edwards Kucinich Obama Richardson, I had to swallow hard. I looked at Kucinich, dismissed the notion as romantic fantasy. I nearly checked Obama. Romantic fantasy again. I removed my hand.

In the end, whatever they say about grass roots and listening to the “base,” it’s going to be the one with the war chest, with the big democratic machine behind her, that wins the nomination. (Just below the names was a place to check just how much money I was willing to contribute to the cause, in case we were in any doubt about this.) The lip-service paid to wanting my opinion is lip-service only; they don’t care about the progressive agenda. Our questions aren’t even on the survey form. (Like just f’rinstance the connection between poverty and race and how to address that, or the connection between justice and race and how to address THAT. If I were black and had been made homeless by Hurricane Katrina, say, or if I were black and lived in Jena, Louisiana, and had been sent this survey, I’d have assumed, completely correctly, that it was being misdelivered. It doesn’t apply. N/A.)

I believe Hillary Clinton is unelectable. Her supporters still seem to have no idea quite how much she is hated and despised by the very constituency she’s trying so hard to court (who, exactly? NASCAR fathers’ wives? because it certainly ain’t me), tip-toeing around the hard questions, fudging, fudging, because you have to be so careful, don’t take any risks, but make sure you look and sound tough. (Those of us who endured Thatcher’s “be a woman but sound and act and as far as possible look like you have cojones and then go ahead and tear apart the national infrastructure to prove it” masquerade are weeping in disbelief.) I predict, however, that Clinton will be the Democratic nominee.

In consequence, I think the Republicans will win the 2008 general election. Despite the lies, the dead and maimed and irreparably damaged American military personnel (not to mention because we never do mention it, do we, the hundreds of thousands of Iraqis they’ve killed maimed and irreparably damaged), the billions we’ve wasted on this interminable fiasco and are now so far in the hole that rebuilding any kind of human services will take years and probably be abandoned as impossible or unpopular or both. Despite the scandals. Despite the much more serious systematic disregard for the constitution. Despite the continued rape of the planet. Despite the rictus on the face of the demon-clown and the grotesque cackles of those who pull his strings. Despite the continued almost comical reappearance of the demon-clown’s nemesis, exhorting the faithful to commit this or that atrocity when he was supposed to have been smoked out of his hole how long? six years? ago by the demon-clown’s Action Men, by the most powerful military machine in the world. I’m angry, people. And I’m feeling patronized by questions such as “Should the Medicare prescription drug benefit plan be reformed to make it less confusing to seniors?” I mean, come on, are they kidding? Is this a joke question?

I’ll send in my survey, though, because in spite of everything I still believe in democracy, and because I do actually have an opinion, in case that’s not apparent. The survey will be heavily annotated, even though I expect the annotations will be ignored, because along with a bonkers irrational aversion to taxes Americans have an irrational aversion to the complexity of the “essay question,” favoring instead multiple-choice answers that can be easily tabulated by Diebold and their ilk, from kindergarten quizzes to IQ tests to customer service at Jiffy Lube and Burger King to tertiary-level examination questions to deciding an “official presidential strategy.”

Yes No Maybe Not Applicable? Check.